The Day!

I woke up this morning,tired not wanting to go to church,but knowing I really needed to.I sat in my usual spot,but just as I thought about my usual spot,I just thought "I should not have a usual spot" so now I wont,well anyway as I am in the front row I was asking GOD to please be with me that I am desperate and I will do anything to really feel his presence,I actually meant it this time,I gave him total control, I was nervous but not afraid and then I fell to the chair as I was standing,not wanting to be on the floor because I was wondering what people might think,so GOD,let me sit and I still prayed and wondered why? "that was all I got" like I felt him come and then go right away,and I was scared,I said please hold me! just then I fell on the floor not able to get up,and looking back,I know now the envy I had for the people who had his spirit but I for some reason couldn't keep it,I thought something was wrong with me because of my black sheep past that's why GOD wouldn't be there for me all the time like some other people,but I understand why today was different and he will be with me forever,AS LONG AS I WANT!I never truly gave him 100% trust and control,like I have today,its up to me to do that,weird how you always hear that but never grasp it,I submitted myself to him and that's all I needed to do,well worth the wait! THANK YOU GOD!!